


For Hours, I'm Frozen

by Walpger



Series: Split and Uneven (Critical Role High School AU) [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Anxiety Attacks, Caleb Widogast Has Issues, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Caleb Widogast-centric, Flirty Mollymauk Tealeaf, Gay Disaster Beauregard Lionett, I thought it was interesting that Nott used to have a crush on Caleb, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jester deserves the world, Like not really though, Minor Nott | Veth Brenatto/Caleb Widogast, Nott and Fjord being Nott and Fjord, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Nott | Veth Brenatto, Queerplatonic Mollymauk Tealeaf/Yasha, Sleep Deprivation, Trans Nott | Veth Brenatto, Warning: Trent Ikithon, guys i hate him so much, he really screwed up our boy, that's all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:27:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29480670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walpger/pseuds/Walpger
Summary: "Caleb was tired. This wasn’t unusual, of course. He was almost always tired, especially after coming to Zadash. He was alone here. Well, not alone, but they weren’t with him anymore and that was close enough."In which Caleb has a lot of trauma to work through, Nott worries about Caleb, and the Mighty Nein is A Lot To Handle (tm).The first work in a shamelessly self indulgent, stupidly elaborate High School AU. Basically, the Mighty Nein are shoved into an after school program together. Slow burn bonding, angst, and probably cuddling to follow.Title from Noah Kahan's song "Please".
Relationships: Astrid & Eodwulf & Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett & Mollymauk Tealeaf, Mollymauk Tealeaf & Caleb Widogast, Mollymauk Tealeaf & Yasha, Nott | Veth Brenatto & Caleb Widogast, The Mighty Nein & Caleb Widogast, Trent Ikithon & Caleb Widogast, Yeza Brenatto/Nott | Veth Brenatto
Series: Split and Uneven (Critical Role High School AU) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2165397
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Not only is this my first dive into the Critical Role universe, it is also the most elaborate AU I have ever created. I have so much planned for this bad boy, and I'm excited to share this first work with everyone! (I hope it doesn't suck ahah).
> 
> Some WARNINGS:  
> 1) Spoilers up to episode 107 of campaign 2 (that's where I've seen to as of planning this whole thing out, but I might change this if something happens and my plans change)  
> 2) Veth gets misgendered for the first MANY works in this series because she ~doesn't know~ she's trans. She figures it out down the road a little bit, but there's a lot of ground between the beginning and there. So, if that will make you uncomfy, please don't readddd  
> 3) And finally, several people struggle a lot with mental health in this series (namely Caleb and Molly but everyone has their moments tbh), including panic attacks, (minor) self-harm, implied suicidal ideation, and general neglect to their health and wellbeing. Please be warned and take care of yourselves.
> 
> Love you all, stay safe, and enjoy <3

Caleb was tired. This wasn’t unusual, of course. He was almost always tired, especially after coming to Zadash. He was alone here. Well, not alone _,_ but they weren’t with him anymore and that was close enough. 

He was living with a kind couple now, and a cat named Frumpkin that had instantly decided he was the most important person in the house. They seemed well-meaning and he was beginning to rely on Frumpkin far more than he should, but Caleb knew they were too good to be true. The other shoe would drop, like it had in Rexxentrum, and Caleb refused to be caught off guard again. So, Caleb was tired. 

He’d learned early on in his time with Ikithon that sleeping was dangerous. They’d been taught to sleep in shifts, Ikithon making rounds to ensure it was so. There were only three of them, it was hard to stay awake, and Ikithon’s rage was violent, so Caleb had always been happy to take on extra shifts to keep his friends safe. He told himself this was no different, except they weren’t with him anymore. He wished they were. Caleb blinked the memories from his mind and tried to focus on his government class. 

Ms. Leylas Kryn was normally a very engaging teacher, in Caleb’s opinion. She spoke very comprehensible Common and was clearly very knowledgeable, which Caleb respected greatly. Apparently, most of his classmates found her boring, but Caleb enjoyed her lectures. Normally, that is. 

Now, he was having trouble concentrating as exhaustion attempted to pull him into oblivion. He had his head propped on his fist and was scribbling half-legible notes into his spiral bound notebook. His eyes ached, and he carefully set his pencil down, pressing his palms against his eyelids until it hurt. The pain was helpful. Another tip from Ikithon. 

Amazingly, Caleb remained conscious for the next twenty minutes, and the class was dismissed for a five-minute break to discuss the first part of the lecture with their peers. Caleb pushed himself into a more proper sitting position, which was worryingly difficult, and turned to face the boy beside him. 

Caleb didn’t mind Nott. He was short and a little skittish, often exuding a sort of nervous excitability, like he was doing something he shouldn’t be. But for some reason, it didn’t worry Caleb like it should have. They’d worked together in Government several times, because they sat together, and it was convenient. Not that the rest of the class would want to work with them, anyways. Caleb’s accent was thick, he was a year older than the other juniors, and Nott was ugly, so the class left them to their own devices. Nott didn’t seem to mind Caleb’s accent, though, and Caleb didn’t think Nott was unattractive—perhaps just uninterested in his appearance. He had long, stringy black hair that fell over his face and wore almost identical, baggy, black clothes every day. His face was structured nicely, though, thin and sharp, and Caleb thought his wild green eyes were nice, though they didn’t stay focused on one thing for very long. 

As Caleb looked at him now, the boy was chewing on the end of a pencil and drawing what looked like an explosion in his notes with a red pen. As Caleb shifted to face him, Nott glanced up from his drawing and pulled the pencil from his mouth, turning big eyes to Caleb. He offered him a smile, full of crooked teeth, before seeming to take in Caleb’s appearance. His eyebrows furrowed. 

“You alright, Caleb?” His voice was scratchy, sort of high pitched. It should have been annoying. It wasn’t. 

“ _Ja_ , I’m fine,” Caleb said, giving the boy a small smile in return. “Are you understanding the lecture okay?” 

“Yeah, it’s alright. I never really understand this shit, but I’m not smart like you are.” Nott laughed awkwardly and pulled at his hair before glancing at the table in front of them. Caleb opened his mouth to tell Nott that he was, in fact, extremely clever, but Nott continued before he could.His voice got quieter, a little deeper. Still scratchy. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look like shit.” 

“Mm, thank you, Nott.” Caleb let out a huff that was almost a laugh, and Nott’s concern seemed to drop with that little joke. Good. 

“I aim to please,” Nott’s grin was alarming, but Caleb didn’t mind. 

They shifted their conversation to the lecture. Caleb did his best to explain what was going on, and Nott clung to every word he said, and then Ms. Kryn took over the class again. 

Caleb sighed and slumped forward onto the desk, head falling into his hand once again as he dug his fingernails into his cheek to keep himself awake. Kryn’s voice was soothing, though. Maybe with Nott here, he would be alright? Nott would wake him if something went wrong, like they would have back in Rexxentrum. Probably. 

No. He couldn’t rely on that. He had to stay awake. But his mind was betraying him, becoming fuzzy at the edges. He cursed under his breath and dug his fingernails in harder. 

When his head slipped from its perch five minutes later, Bren jolted to awareness and shoved himself away from the desk, chair bumping against the back wall of the classroom. _Scheiße_. His heart thundered in his chest, and he tried desperately to keep his breathing under control. He was fine. He was alright. 

He could sense Nott beside him, could feel the big green eyes flicking across his form. Analyzing him. Bren pulled his sleeves over his hands and tried to breathe; he suddenly felt trapped with the wall behind him and Nott beside him and a hundred eyes looking at him and he needed to get away right now. Bren stood and pressed himself to the wall, squeezing beside the tables keeping him from escaping. His classmates began murmuring, and someone said his fake name and Bren bolted through the door of the classroom and down the hallway and somehow ended up on his knees and he couldn’t breathe. He was in danger. He couldn’t see clearly or breathe or see or breathe. Why couldn’t he breathe? Pain helped. He pushed up one sleeve of his sweater and dug his fingernails into his arms, scraping them along the flesh there. Ikithon had told them the pain was helpful. Embrace it. Focus. Bren forced his breathing to steady. 

When he had dealt with that, he glanced around at his surroundings to ensure he was safe. He was met with Ms. Kryn, crouched next to him in the hallway, speaking to him. He continued to scratch his arm and forced his mind to focus, working to register the Common that she spoke. 

“-eathe, Caleb. You’re alright.” She was speaking softly, not seeming to say anything of substance. He dug deeper into his arm and flicked his gaze up to meet hers. She blinked at him, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “There you are. What can I do?” 

Bren tried to respond coherently, but all that came out was a sort of mumbled hum. He cleared his throat and looked away from her, turning his attention back to his arms. He tried again, forcing out a quiet “sorry” before his throat closed up again. _Stupid, useless, he couldn’t even speak._

“Caleb, please stop that.” 

A command. He could follow a command. Bren glanced up at her, asking for clarification with a slight hum. 

“Your arms, honey. Stop that.” 

Bren glanced down at the arm he had been scratching. It was red, raw. Several scabs had been pulled open. Familiar red blood pooled up. He forced his hand away from the skin and pulled his sweater over it once again. He could still feel the stinging very slightly, as his nerves seemed to catch up with what he’d done. “Sorry.” 

“I think you should head down to the nurse, Caleb. Is that alright?” Her voice was steady and calm, not panicked. That was strange, but Bren was thankful for it. 

“ _Ja,_ ” Bren— _no_ _,_ _not_ _Bren_ _anymore_ —Caleb mumbled. No point in arguing. Mr. Sol knew him, told him to come down whenever he felt unsafe. It would be safer there, probably. 

“Okay. Good. I don’t want you to walk down there by yourself right now. Is there anyone in class that you’d be comfortable with walking you down?” 

Caleb worked to process what she was saying. His mind was still slightly fuzzy, slow to translate the words she’d spoken. He had to pick someone in class. What class was he in? He was with Kryn. Kryn taught Government. Government. 

“Nott.” Caleb said softly. 

“Okay. I’ll go grab him. Stay here, okay? Don’t move.” 

Caleb nodded and sat on his hands to stop himself from scratching his arms again. Ms. Kryn had told him to stop, and Caleb was good at following orders. Ikithon had rewarded him many times, praised him for it. He forced the man from his mind and focused on breathing and counting. Ikithon wasn’t here. Eodwulf and Astrid weren’t here. So, he counted to ten in Common and then Zemnian, and then Nott was crouching in front of him, big green eyes flicking around his form. There was something panicked in his expression, and Caleb felt a twinge of guilt. He’d placed that panic there. _Stupid, reckless, useless-_

“ _Hallo,_ Nott.” Caleb said softly, forcing his mind to quiet. 

“Hey.” Nott said, pulling at the ends of his hair. “You, uh. You okay?” 

“ _Ja,_ I’m fine.” Caleb tried to smile and put the small boy at ease. 

“Okay... I-” Nott started before cutting himself off and glancing away from Caleb. He paused for a moment before shaking his head and looking back to Caleb. “Uh, Ms. Kryn said I was supposed to take you to the nurse. So. Are you ready to go?” 

“ _Ja._ Let’s go,” Caleb said with far more confidence than he felt. Nonetheless, he carefully pushed himself off of the ground. 

Nott placed a hand on his shoulder to steady him, green eyes gazing up at his face. Assessing. Caleb tried to appear as though his mind wasn’t eating him from the inside out. He watched Nott’s face carefully. 

“You good? Steady?” The scratchy voice asked. 

Caleb nodded, and the pair started down the hallway towards the nurse’s office. They were quiet as they went, the only sound coming from the closed doors of classrooms they passed. 

Caleb could still feel Nott watching him and tried not to feel uncomfortable with it. This was why Nott had come along. To watch him. Make sure he wasn’t going to... Run? Pass out? Caleb wasn’t entirely sure, but either way the surveillance was Nott’s purpose here. So, he tried to be okay with it, even as a voice in his mind told him that no one should see him. No one should know who he is, Ikithon had said. He was no one. His hands itched to scratch something as they walked. 

Halfway to the office, the shorter boy stretched out a hand, glancing up at Caleb for permission. Caleb’s clouded brain tried to register the request, but before he could, there was a hand in his, squeezing gently. The pressure was unexpected, but Caleb forced his hand to stay in its place. 

“Is this okay?” Nott said quietly, voice deeper than normal. “Fine if not. I just... want to help, I guess. You were rubbing at your arms.” 

Caleb blinked. He hadn’t noticed. But glancing down at his left arm, the sleeve of his sweater was partly rolled up. Thin smudges of blood were drawn in his skin, where the fabric had rubbed against it. Hm. Caleb shook his sleeve back into place and considered Nott’s question. 

Nott’s hand was small, warm, slightly sweaty against his. Caleb could feel it trembling ever so slightly if he focused on the contact. It was distracting and strange, and yes, this was good. Caleb nodded and hated himself for wanting the small comfort. But the hand stayed in his until they reached the office, and it was enough to keep Caleb’s mind from leaving fully. Grounding him, the Zadashi rehab specialist had called it. Something to keep him here. 

They kept walking in silence. 

… 

“We’re here, Caleb,” Nott said gently as they approached the front office. He glanced up at the Zemnian, trying to gauge if Caleb could hear him or not. His blue eyes seemed sort of hazy, but he responded instantly. 

“ _Ja._ ” His accent was thicker than usual. 

“Do you want me to stay or go?” Nott asked gently, guiding Caleb around the front desk and back towards the nurse’s office. The people working the desk didn’t seem surprised to see Caleb, and a few of them gave Nott a worried nod, like they knew exactly what was going on. How often did this happen? Nott’s stomach churned with worry. 

His Government partner had always seemed a little nervous, sometimes getting a faraway look in his eyes or pulling at his sleeves. But he was ridiculously smart and charming in his own way, and something in Nott hurt to see the panicked look on his face earlier. Not that the dead expression he wore now was much better. 

“I would not keep you,” Caleb said slowly after a few moments, but his hand tightened around Nott’s seemingly involuntarily. That wasn’t a real response, but Nott simply nodded and pulled Caleb into the nurse’s office. 

Upon entering, Nott could immediately see the hulking form of Pumat Sol sitting behind the desk. The large man smiled upon seeing them, though Nott didn’t miss the worried twitch in his expression upon seeing Caleb, and Nott’s stomach clenched again. Even the nurse seemed to be familiar with this sort of thing. 

“Well, hello there, Mr. Widogast,” Mr. Sol’s voice was gentle, as Nott had tried to make his. Of course, Nott’s voice was horrible and scratchy, and Mr. Sol’s was deep and full, so the nurse was doing a much better job. “What can I do for you, today?” 

Nott glanced up at Caleb, seeing if he would respond. He seemed to be thinking, his mouth opened, and closed. He shook his head quickly and dropped his gaze to the floor. Nott squeezed his hand and spoke up. 

“He, uhm. Got kind of freaked out in Government, so Ms. Kryn thought I should bring him here.” Nott explained, not taking his eyes off of Caleb. 

“Understood,” Mr. Sol nodded and stood, giving Nott an encouraging smile and slowly walking closer to Caleb to avoid startling him. “Caleb, can we send this young man back to class?” 

Nott felt Caleb’s hand squeezing his, even as he nodded. 

“Actually, would it be okay if I stayed?” Nott asked, making eye contact with Mr. Sol and trying to get him to understand. The nurse blinked, glancing at Caleb’s white-knuckled grip on Nott’s hand and nodded with a smile. 

“Of course. I’ll let Ms. Kryn know that I’m keeping you as well. Caleb, you just go ahead and lay down in your usual spot.” With that command, Caleb’s hand pulled away from Nott’s and he moved to the back of the room without a word. Nott watched him go, pulling at his hair. “What’s your name, kiddo?” Mr. Sol asked him, sitting back at his desk once again. 

“Oh, uh. Nott. Brenatto.” Nott said absentmindedly, glancing back to where Caleb was now sitting on a cot in the darkened back room of the nurse’s office. 

“Alrighty then, Mr. Brenatto, you can head on back as well.” Mr. Sol gave him a smile, voice growing softer before he added, “Awfully kind of you to stay with him.” 

Nott didn’t really know how to respond to that, so he just nodded and made his way to Caleb’s “usual spot”. His shoes squeaked on the linoleum floor, and Caleb’s head snapped towards him. 

“Sorry!” Nott said instantly, holding his hands out in a gesture of peace. “Sorry, it’s just me.” 

Caleb turned back to facing the wall, before patting the cot next to him. “You can sit, if you’d like.” It was barely more than a whisper, but Nott nodded emphatically and hopped onto the cot beside the Zemnian boy. His feet barely touched the floor, and Nott was happy to let them hang slightly off the ground. “Thank you for...” Caleb’s voice trailed off, and one hand gestured nonsensically before he shook his head. 

“Of course,” Nott said gently. “Happy to help.” 

They sat in silence for a few moments, Nott pulling at his hair and Caleb staring at the wall. 

“Can you-” Caleb’s voice was slightly slurred and he stopped, inhaled, leaned forward onto his knees. “Would you mind talking? It helps to, eh, focus on something sometimes.” 

“Oh,” Nott sat up straighter on the cot. “Yes, of course. What should I talk about?” 

“Tell me about yourself?” Caleb’s blue gaze flicked to him momentarily, as if asking permission. 

“Okay, yeah. There’s honestly not much to tell,” Nott began. “Uhm. I’ve lived here for most of my life with my parents, but I grew up in Felderwin. Uh, I’m an only child? Oh, I-” Nott paused, voice catching in his throat. He’d been about to say that he had a boyfriend, the words ready to slip from his tongue like they didn’t matter. 

But he couldn’t tell Caleb about Yeza; the Zemnian was basically a stranger. There was no way to know how he would react. As Nott tried to get his mind back on track, think of something else to say, Caleb glanced up at him. The silence seemed to alert him to Nott’s discomfort and his blue eyes searched Nott’s face, eyebrows furrowed. Nott bit his lip. He was supposed to be helping, and now Caleb was worrying about him. Fuck it. “I, uh, have a boyfriend.” 

“ _Ja?”_ Caleb didn’t seem bothered, lips quirking into a reassuring smile. “Tell me about him.” 

And Nott did. He sat in the nurse’s office next to his Government partner and talked about his amazing, wonderful boyfriend until Caleb was sitting up a little straighter and occasionally interjecting with questions about Nott’s various stories. 

“He goes here, _ja?_ I don’t think I’ve ever met him,” Caleb said softly after Nott had finished telling him about the spin the bottle, how they’d kissed, and everyone had laughed, but Yeza had smiled at him like he was the entire world. 

“He moved, actually,” Nott said, laughing humorlessly. “Ironically, he’s in Felderwin now.” 

“Oh,” Caleb said. “Long distance.” 

“Yeah. It’s a great fucking time,” Nott said with far too much enthusiasm, relieved when Caleb smiled and huffed. It was the closest thing Caleb had to a laugh, it seemed, and Nott was satisfied with that. 

The conversation continued, and Nott was struck with how easy it was. He hadn’t talked to Caleb much outside of Government, just polite nods in the hallway and the occasional question about homework. But Nott realized he would be content to sit in the dimly lit room with him for hours, talking about nothing and watching the tension slowly drain from his shoulders—Caleb looking at him like he was important, like he needed him there. It was nice. 

Eventually, the bell rang for first period to end, and Mr. Sol came back to check in on Caleb. 

“How are you doing, Mr. Widogast? Do I need to contact your second period teacher, or do you think you’re okay?” There was no judgement in the large man’s voice. Nott looked to Caleb, trying to gauge his reaction to the questions. 

“I’m okay,” Caleb said simply, standing carefully from the cot. Nott blinked in surprise and stood as well. Caleb had said that several times today, but this was the first time that Nott believed him. He still looked tired, of course, dark bags under his brilliant eyes, but he was better. And Nott supposed better was okay. Mr. Sol eyed Caleb warily for a moment before nodding in approval, face dissolving into a smile. 

“Alrighty, then. Thank you, boys, for stopping by.” 

“Thank you,” Caleb said softly before starting out towards the office again. Nott made to follow him, but Mr. Sol stopped them before Caleb had even left the room. 

“Oh, Caleb. Hold on one second, I wanted to ask you something.” 

Nott stopped and glanced to Caleb, asking for permission to leave. He wasn’t sure why he needed it, but Caleb offered him a soft smile and nodded, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Nott.” 

So, Nott left, pulling at his hair as he went. He stepped outside the nurse’s office, making it to the reception desk before he stopped. He found he couldn’t bring himself to keep going. He didn’t want to leave Caleb. He didn’t know why. Maybe it was the wildness in Caleb’s eyes when he’d jolted awake in class, maybe the red lines on his arms, maybe the soft smiles he’d given Nott as reassurance. Nott didn’t want to leave him. So, he sat in one of the chairs in the front office’s lobby area, receiving kind eyed smiles from the staff working there. 

He could hear the muffled voices of Caleb and Mr. Sol in the nurse’s office and Nott’s hands felt itchy. He glanced up at the front office people before quietly reaching his hand into the pot on the table to his left. The fake plant resting there didn’t even twitch as Nott’s hand slipped underneath the plastic leaves, slipping several small rocks into his hand. He pulled his hand back and placed the rocks in his hoody’s pocket. The staff continued their work, completely unaware, and Nott hid a smile behind his hair, tugging at it once again. 

And then Caleb was walking past him, pulling at his sleeves, and Nott stood up, scrambling to catch up with him. 

“Oh, _hallo,_ Nott,” Caleb said in greeting as Nott fell into step beside him. “You didn’t have to wait for me. I promise I’m okay.” 

“It’s no problem,” Nott said with an ugly laugh. “I didn’t want to go to class anyways.” 

“You’ll be late, though. Aren’t you worried about detention?” Caleb turned concerned blue eyes to Nott, searching for something there. 

Nott didn’t want to tell him that he was actually in permanent detention—or the “After School Behavioral Correction Program” as the school liked to call it—and had stayed after school every day for the past year and a half. So he just shrugged and said, “Nah. I’ll be fine.” 

“Well, thank you. For all of it,” Caleb looked away from him and pushed auburn hair behind one ear. “Sorry you had to see that.” 

“Not a problem. Don’t worry about it,” Nott said, stopping at the staircase that would lead to his second period. Nott heaved a sigh; he really didn’t want to go to class. At least it was art, which meant Jessie would be there. Still, there was something in his stomach that pinched at the thought of leaving Caleb. He’d been so _afraid_. 

“Goodbye, Nott,” Caleb bowed slightly, already continuing down the hallway. “I’ll see you tomorrow, _ja_?” 

Nott nodded and Caleb gave him just a glimpse of a smile before ducking around the corner. Nott felt his face heat up as he stared at the corner where Caleb had disappeared. Well, _fuck._ The bell rang and Nott scrambled up the stairs to get to the art classroom. Jester was going to get a kick out of this. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing the rest of the Mighty Nein! Including, but not limited to: angery Beau, flirty Molly, and Jessie being a darling girl with far too much energy.

Under normal circumstances, Caleb would never thank his anxious nature for anything. But it was a brilliant motivator to remain alert when he was as exhausted as he was. And Mr. Sol’s request was making him very anxious.

_“Can you stay after school today, Caleb?” “_

_Eh, ja, probably. Why?” “_

_There’s an after-school program that I think would do you some good. Like a club, sort of. You could meet some people like Nott.” Mr. Sol’s smile was wide and seemed genuine. “You seemed to get along well with him.”_

_"Oh.” Caleb wanted to protest, but he couldn’t. He didn’t need to meet people. He’d had people before, and it had done very little good. He was fine alone._

_“I’ll give your parents a call and let them know, okay?”_

_“Ja. Okay.”_

_Mr. Sol called the people Caleb was staying with and told them about Zadash High’s “Behavioral Correction Program”. And Caleb left._

It had only been a month since he’d left rehab and come to this school, and he was already being recommended for a troubled kid's group. So, overall, he was off to a shining start.

He was expected to go find Mr. Dosal’s room after school and meet up with the rest of the students. Mr. Sol had assured him that this was a test run, and Caleb didn’t have to join if he didn’t want to. Which he didn’t. But he had to go today, and that was enough to make Caleb’s heart beat slightly too fast in his chest.

He managed to survive the final three periods of the day, with little incident, and slowly packed up his things. He walked the hallways for several minutes, trying to calm himself with his fingernails in his palms. Finally, the hallways were nearly empty, and Caleb had little excuse to keep wandering.

Too quickly, Caleb found room 109. He glanced through the door, quickly assessing the numbers in the room before ducking back into the cover of the hallway. There weren’t too many of them. Maybe four or five? Caleb could handle a handful of strangers for an hour. He inhaled, closing his eyes and trying to settle his nerves.

“Hey! Who the fuck are you?”

Caleb slammed into the lockers behind him as a voice broke the careful silence of the hallway. His eyes flew open, and he was met with a freckled face far too close to him. He swore and tried to scramble away, heart thudding against his ribcage, but the lockers were still behind him and the person stayed in place and Caleb barely resisted the urge to shove her away from him. He was at school, he reminded himself. He was probably safe here. He inspected the person more closely as he forced himself to breathe. Dyed blue hair and a pink dress and a sparkly gray backpack. Her eyes were bright, almost-purple, blue, and her face held an exaggerated pout. Probably not about to hurt him.

“You scared me,” Caleb breathed, once his brain had classified this person as an unlikely threat.

“Oh, shit. Sorry,” the girl stepped back, holding out a hand and smiling at him. “I’m Jester.”

“Eh, Caleb,” He took her hand, and she shook it vigorously. “Hi.”

“Caleb? Like. _Caleb_ Caleb?” Her voice got high-pitched and squeaky for a moment before she seemed to forcibly collect herself. “Sorry, sorry. Nott was telling me about you.” She stopped for a moment. “Not in like a weird way, of course. He was just like telling me that you’re really cool and stuff and not anything else weird or anything, obviously. Are you looking for him or something?” She blinked at him, eyes staring deep into his. He rubbed at the sleeve of his sweater. She was very... Loud? Bright? Chaotic?

“Eh, no?” Caleb said dumbly, mind trying to process everything that was happening in front of him. Nott knew this person? “I’m supposed to be at a, uhm, meeting, I guess. Here.”

“Oh!” The girl brightened considerably and seemed to take him in for the first time since approaching him. Caleb tried not to shrink under her gaze, with little success. “Alrighty then, come on in.”

And with that, she spun around and entered the classroom, leaving Caleb to stare after her. Suddenly, Caleb was much less certain that he could handle an hour with a group of strangers. It was just one hour, though. He inhaled and entered the room.

A quick survey of the group confirmed his original count of students. There were five in the room already, plus Jester. He was more surprised than he should have been to see Nott in the classroom. That explained several things that had happened in the past day. Mr. Sol had meant Nott was in the club, not just people like Nott; Jester would obviously know Nott if they spent their time after school together. He just hadn’t pieced it together. He really was tired. He pushed that to the back of his mind and quickly assessed the rest of the room, brain molded to check for threats in any new situation. Nott was safe, for now. Jester was probably fine. The rest of the room, though.

Instantly, Caleb picked out a large form at the back of the room. She was leaning forward, resting her arms on the desk in front of her, but even slouched, Caleb could tell she was huge. Her arms were thick and muscled. She had pale skin and thick, dark hair, and she was staring directly at Caleb. Intimidating. He shifted his gaze to the person beside her and upgraded his analysis from slightly frightening to a potential threat. The boy beside her was leaned into her side, feet propped on the desk, one hand laying on top of hers. Wavy purple hair framed a thin, almost gaunt face, and an amused smirk was planted on his face. His eyes were dark and piercing, calculating. Separately, they would probably be manageable, but together... Caleb would keep an eye on them.

There were two others in the room, sitting a few rows ahead of the two in the back, huddled together with Nott. A lean girl with the sides of her head shaved and an annoyed expression on her face and a strong looking guy with patches of lighter skin scattered among his mostly dark complexion. Neither looked particularly dangerous. The girl looked angry and defiant, not pleased that Caleb was there, but not violent. He could deal with that. The guy looked intimidating at first glance, strong and sure of himself. But on a closer inspection, Caleb noticed cracks. His posture was too good to be a presentation of genuine confidence. He was faking it.

With his split-second assessment completed, he allowed himself to focus on the blue haired girl that was currently drumming her fingers on a desk and alerting the room to his presence.

“Introducinnnnnnng: Caleb!” She exclaimed after the makeshift drumroll had gone on for an uncomfortably long time. She waved her arms as though she was presenting a car to a group of interested buyers, and the attention of the room was immediately shifted to him. Caleb felt his heart beating faster. Nobody was supposed to notice him.

Nott swiveled in his chair to face the front of the room, wild eyes landing on Caleb. “Caleb?”

“Uh. _Hallo_ , Nott.” Caleb said, happy to focus his attention on the small boy.

“You know this guy?” The annoyed girl asked. Caleb couldn’t tell if she was talking to Nott or Jester, but it didn’t really matter. Her tone was suspicious. She clearly didn’t want him there, and the feeling was becoming more and more mutual by the second.

“Uh, yeah. He’s in my Government class,” Nott said distractedly. “He’s very smart.”

The girl grunted and crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair. Caleb forced himself to breathe. He felt like he should say something, but the words weren’t coming. Luckily for him the singular adult in the room, assumedly Mr. Dosal, stood from his desk and addressed the group.

“Be civil, Beauregard,” Mr. Dosal addressed the angry girl, who huffed in response. “Caleb is joining you for today, and potentially longer. I expect you to treat him with respect. That goes for all of you.” His gaze shifted around the people in the room, receiving several nods or grunts of approval before returning to his desk.

Caleb’s heart thundered in his chest as he was left standing next to Jester at the front of the room. He felt all their eyes on him, and he dug his fingernails into his palms. He glanced desperately at Dr. Dosal, and the man gestured him over to his desk. Caleb moved swiftly towards him.

“Pumat told me you were coming, Mr. Widogast. It’s good to have you here. I’m Babenon Dosal, but these miscreants mostly call me the Gentleman.” Mr. Dosal spoke fondly, despite his words behind laced with annoyance. Caleb blinked, opened his mouth, closed it again. Dr. Dosal smiled at him, amusement dancing in his eyes. “Don’t ask me how that little tradition got started; I’ve given up trying to understand.”

“ _Ja_ , okay.” Caleb said softly.

“This time acts basically as a monitored study hall, for the most part. At least in my room. They move around between teachers throughout the week, but Mondays are here. So, if you’ve got things to work on, go ahead. I suggest you make yourself acquainted with everyone, though. They’re really not as scary as they look.” The dark-haired man gave him a tight smile, before gesturing to the rest of the room.

“They’re really not scary, Caleb, I promise!” Jester’s sing-song voice said from beside him. And suddenly he was being pulled away from Mr. Dosal’s desk and into the rows of mostly empty desks. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone!”

“Oh, that’s not really necessary,” Caleb said softly as Jester dragged him into a desk near the three closest to the front.

“Of course, it is, silly!” Jester gave him a slightly confused smile before turning to the two at the back of the room. “Molly, Yasha, stop being antisocial. Come be with the group!”

“Anything for you, darling.” The purple haired boy smirked and rolled out of his seat, sauntering a couple of rows closer to the front before sliding into another chair. The large one followed him, completely silent, and took her seat beside him. Caleb swallowed.

He felt a hand settle on top of his and glanced down to see Nott standing beside the desk he’d been pushed into. Nott gave him a reassuring smile, with those crooked teeth, and Caleb tried to breathe. Nott was here and his hand was still sweaty and quivering slightly and that was good. Caleb focused on the hand and tried to pay attention to Jester.

“Okay Caleb. So, that’s Molly and Yasha,” Jester gestured to the purple boy and the large girl respectively. “Yasha is, like, the absolute sweetest person, and Molly is...” Jester paused, and the annoyed girl—Beauregard—let out a snort from somewhere to Caleb’s left. “Molly is unique and creative, and we love him, is what I was going to say, _Beau_.” Jester said, shooting a pout to the angry girl. Caleb glanced at Molly; he was watching Caleb with a smirk on his face. Caleb looked away quickly.

“Hello, Caleb.” Yasha waved with a soft smile and Caleb was slightly taken aback by the gentleness of her voice and movements. Interesting.

“Mollymauk Tealeaf. Pleasure,” Molly said with a half-bow to Caleb, smirk still present on his face.

“ _Hallo_.” Caleb instinctively bowed back, habits from Rexxentrum resurfacing, before he realized how weird that was for a normal high school student. He ducked his head to hide how red his face was undoubtedly getting. “Sorry.”

“Oh, I like him,” Mollymauk said. Caleb raised his head to look at the purple-framed face; replacing the smirk was a much more genuine, mirth filled smile. “Very charming.” Another wink.

Caleb looked back down at his lap. He honestly couldn’t tell if he was being mocked or not, but he didn’t care much anyways. It was just one day with these people and then he was done. He’d never have to see them again.

“Be nice, Molly,” Jester said with a small frown. Mollymauk just smirked and shrugged, leaning into Yasha’s side once more. “Okay, anyways, Caleb. So, you know Nott, obviously. But that’s Beau and Fjord, and they’re like the best people I know, basically, except Beau gets prickly sometimes, but she’s really, actually super nice. But that’s everybody! So, welcome to the crew!”

Caleb felt Beauregard’s eyes on him, sizing him up. He wanted to shrivel into the floor. It was just one day, he reminded himself. He could live with Beauregard’s judging gaze for an hour. He’d lived with worse.

“It’s good to meet you, Caleb,” a new voice said, deep and sure. Caleb looked up from his lap to see Fjord’s hand outstretched to him. “Sorry about these guys. They’re kind of a lot at first.”

“ _Ja_ ,” Caleb forced a smile and took Fjord’s hand. His handshake was steady and measured, like everything else about him. Caleb hoped Fjord couldn’t feel his hand shaking.

“Oh, like you’re any better,” Nott piped up from beside Caleb. He turned in surprise, unprepared to see a tiny spark of mischief in Nott’s eyes. He gestured to Fjord, “This motherfucker is a liar and a cheat, Caleb, don’t let him fool you.”

“Okay, that feels uncalled for,” Fjord said with a slightly embarrassed laugh, perfect posture breaking for the first time since Caleb had entered the room. “I just... use my resources differently than other people.”

“Naw,” Beauregard chimed in. “You’re a liar and a cheat. Seems pretty legit.” She swiveled to Nott, smirk on her face, “But you have zero room to talk. How many phones have you taken this year?”

Caleb kept his face carefully neutral, even as he turned to face Nott.

“Nine,” Nott said, puffing his chest out slightly, a hint of pride in his voice. Beau snorted and Fjord shook his head, pressing his hand against the bridge of his nose like he was fighting a headache. Caleb glanced down at Nott, inspecting him again. Nine phones stolen in a single month of the school year.

“That’s impressive actually,” Mollymauk said. “Well done.”

“Thank you,” Nott said with his toothy grin. “They were confiscated obviously, but-”

“Ooookay, guys,” Jester said, looking worriedly between Caleb and the rest of the group. “That seems like enough, I think. Caleb literally just got here, so. Let’s maybe chill. We don’t want to scare him away like instantly.”

Caleb glanced away from Nott and turned to Jester, mind working overtime to try and connect “phone thief” and “government partner, sweaty hand” in his mind. Jester had just said something about him. He blinked at her in confusion before Mollymauk chimed in and interrupted his thoughts again.

“Honestly, might be better if he knew it all now. That way, he’s making an informed decision,” Mollymauk said, looking down at something on his phone before glancing up to Caleb. Caleb decided to sort out the revelation about Nott later, and focus on the many things that were happening all at once.

“Mollyyyyy,” Jester whined.

“Yeah! See?” Beau said emphatically, pointing at Mollymauk in agreement before she frowned. “God, did I just agree with _Molly_?”

“Love you, too, Beau.” The smirk was back on Mollymauk’s face. Caleb didn’t trust it. And then his voice got soft, and Caleb didn’t trust that either. “Jessie, darling. If he’s going to stay, he’s going to find out eventually anyways. Better to have him leave now, rather than to get attached before he ditches us, right?”

The pout remained on Jester’s face, but she nodded. “I guess.” She was suddenly very close to him again, leaning onto his desk to put herself at eye level. “Caleb, do you promise you won’t ditch us for being crazy?”

Caleb felt his heart beat faster. All attention was back on him.

“Jessie,” Nott said softly, squeezing Caleb’s hand like he could tell that he was panicking. Nott gave Jester some sort of look that Caleb didn’t understand, and Jester immediately pushed herself back.

“Shit, yes. Sorry! And like, obviously I was kidding. I mean, I would love for you to stay because you seem great, but like... If you want to go, that’s totally fine.”

“I, ehm,” Caleb cleared his throat. Everyone was watching him. Why did Jester want him here so badly? He hadn’t met her before, had he? He briefly wracked his mind. He didn’t remember seeing her before. But there had to be some motive behind it.

Caleb tried to dig his nails into his palms to calm himself, but his hand was wrapped around Nott’s. Right. The boy looked up at him with a hint of worry in his eyes before squeezing his hand again and that hand was becoming far too normal. He could not allow himself to rely on that hand. Caleb pulled away and tucked both of his hands into the sleeves of his sweater. He didn’t look at Nott to gage his reaction. “I was not actually planning on coming back here after today.” Jester practically deflated in front of him, and Caleb felt the familiar tug of guilt in his stomach. “Not because of any of you,” he attempted to assure the blue-haired girl. Why did he care what she thought? “Believe me, I have no room to judge any of your habits,” Caleb tried to laugh, and it sort of worked.

“I’d drink to that,” Mollymauk smiled at him, the more genuine one. Maybe there was some pity hidden there, Caleb wasn’t sure. “Well, we’re happy to have you for a day, Mr. Caleb.”

“Thank you, Mollymauk,” Caleb said quietly, as his brain asked him why over and over again. What did they have to gain from his presence? There was no way for them to know his past, his skills. All the things that made him valuable were tucked away. What did they want from him?

“So, what did you do to end up here?” Beauregard said, with the suspicious tone that was quickly becoming familiar. “Clearly you’re not here by choice.”

Caleb saw Nott tense out of the corner of his eye and glanced briefly in his direction. The smaller boy seemed ready to jump to his defense, despite barely knowing him. Caleb wished he didn’t find it as endearing as he did. Nott just seemed so... good. Caleb knew it was dangerous to think like that. Ikithon had told him over and over. He was weak. He was soft. He got attached too easily. He shoved Nott from his mind and determined to speak for himself.

“If you can’t tell, I am, uh, quite nervous a lot of the time. It can... become a problem, I suppose.” He glanced at Beauregard to see if he had sated her curiosity.

Beauregard just hummed in response, and Jester was quick to chastise her for it, but Caleb respected her questioning. Clearly this group was important to her, and he was an intruder. It made sense. She was looking out for her people. Caleb knew that feeling well. His mind flashed to long nights with Astrid and Eodwulf, laughing, crying, never sleeping, and then he was back in the classroom with a group of strangers. He wished that the whiplash didn’t hurt as much as it did. He had always been soft.

“And yourself, Beauregard?” He said. Because he could. Because Beauregard seemed to think he was weak, and he was sick of proving Ikithon right. It was very rewarding to watch the girl’s eyebrow rise in surprise for just a moment. And then her face shifted, and she was looking at him with something close to respect. She was curious about him and Caleb collapsed into himself again. He wasn’t supposed to be a point of intrigue. He was supposed to exist in the background. It was safer that way.

“Homework is bullshit, and teachers are pricks.” Beauregard shrugged, carefully nonchalant. “Also, my parents fucking hate me.”

“Oh, yeah. Fuck those guys. We all hate Beau’s parents, by the way, Caleb,” Jester said, placing her hand on Beau’s head in some form of comfort. Caleb carefully avoided thinking of his own parents and simply nodded in response.

“Alright, guys,” Mr. Dosal said from his position at his desk. “Introductions have been made, and I know for a fact that most of you have late assignments. So, let’s get on task, get something done.”

Beau groaned in response, and Jester pouted, but the group eventually settled into a small circle of desks and began pulling out different assignments. Finally, the attention was off of him, and Caleb tried to relax. He was alright. He glanced at the clock. Only 45 more minutes. He could manage.


End file.
